Thursday, 28 April 2011
I know I will miss getting to make any vows to you. There will never be the chance to stand in front of the people I cherish the most and tell them that you are the one person in this world I love more than anything. I will forgo the joy of being thought of as the most beautiful women in the room for a day, of living the fairytale that has played out in my head a hundred times. It saddens me a little to know I will never have the simple band of metal upon my finger that says I belong, I am somebody’s special someone; I’m home. Such a simple ring, a sign of everlasting, continuing commitment which I would love to look down at everyday and know I am safe. For me this will not happen. But the loss I feel the most is that I will never be able to tell you, or the world, how I feel. The chance will never be presented where my feelings can be unashamedly told without fear or prejudice. I will not be able to tell you that I choose you, I take you into my heart, give you my soul and all that I have and are, all that I own and give it to you unreservedly. We will never get to know the feeling of considering being together in sickness or in health that however rich or poor we are that being together is the most important thing. The unspoken words that I want to be the best version of me for you, that every day I would need to strive to be as good as I can be as you deserve so much more that I ever could be. That I would try and make you happy every day and even though time will not be kind to my appearance the love I have will never fade or depreciate, wither or die, it will always burn strong. How can I not get to tell you these things as saying I love you every minute of every day is not enough?