Monday, 10 May 2010

To Breed or not to Breed, now that is a question!

With love comes compromise, decisions and life choices and what do we do if the person we want to be with doesn't want the same things as us.  What do we do if they are everything, but don't want the same things....
How far should we change?
I was recently talking to a male friend of mine who was suprised to hear my gorgeous man doesn't want to get married or have children.  He said the total opposite of what I exptected, which was what are you worried about, and said I am suprised that you are still with him.  That wasn't the male perspective I was hoping for!  I wanted "dont be such a woman and those things dont matter", but he said it must be killing you.  And at that moment I realised it was. 
After having the odd man in my life that were so wrong in so many varied and frightening ways, of course fate would furnish me with an amazing man who was the polar opposite where life choices were concerned.  I am now in a place where I need to make it ok, where I can reconcile this to make it alright, but there is no compromise when it comes to marriage and children, one of us doesn't get what we want.  And with the status quo firmly in his direction where do I go from here?
I am partly angry at myself for being a woman that feels the need to get married and have children.  It seems that it not the cool thing to do to want to be a wife and a mother.  Is it so wrong to want to stand up and say that you choose to be with someone for the rest of your life, is it wrong to want someone to say I choose you above anyone, you are it for me.  Is it wrong to want to make something so unique as another person with the man you adore?
It's not just a wedding or a child, it's sharing it with the right person and I want to do that with no one other than the amazing man.  So the only conclusion I can come to is it isnt any guy, it's the right guy, the one I wake up to, the one I miss when I go to work and the one I fall asleep with at night, so I guess it's going to be not to breed and that is the answer to the question.


  1. oh hunny bunny!!! my advice (worth less than 37p at todays rates) is that a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush

    you may decide that children are worth more and leave this man to find 'the one' to have kids with and then never find him, thus losing both chance for love and kids.

    Also my lovely other half never wanted kids either..........but time and the realisation of what it was doing to me, and the love he had made him change his mind, and now of course (as you know) he worships the ground on which she walks and can't imagine how he never wanted kids!!

    So cherish what you have, enjoy that amazing love of a lovely man, but don't give up - just ensure he knows that you are sacrificing a tiny part of you for him......

  2. That's good advice, and I would never give up what I have as it is all I have ever wanted. Marriage and children with anyone is nothing compared to having the love of your life by your side everyday. It's just, as you say, leaving behind a part of me.